Although Eros and the death-drive are at odds with one another, their interaction makes for great romance. According to Freud:
Necessity alone, the advantages of work in common, will not hold them together. But man's natural aggressive instinct, the hostility of each against all and of all against each, opposes the programme of civilization. This aggressive instinct is the derivative and the main representative of the death instinct which we have found alongside of Eros and which shares world dominion with it. And now, I think, the meaning of the evolution of civilization is no longer obscure to us. It must present the struggle between Eros and Death, between the instinct of life and the instinct of destruction, as it works itself out in the human species. (Civilization and its Discontents, 77)
While Freud makes meta-theoretical speculations, this relationship between Eros and Death seems to be central to many of our "great romances" whether its Scarlett O'Hara and Rhett Butler, Chuck Bass and Blair Waldorf, or even Beatrix and Bill. Although Freud's use of Eros carries greater significance than romantic love, I think romantic love provides a more concrete example of this psychological dualism. This might seem odd, but this clip from Kill Bill 2 captures what I'm saying.
Bill's line to Beatrix, "You're not a bad person, you're a terrific person, you're my favorite person. But, every once in a while, you can be a real cunt," captures that tension between Eros and the death-drive. The two of them obviously love each other, but "cunt" reminds the audience of the underlying death-drive in this relationship.
Plus, I just love Kill Bill vol. 2
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A passage in BETRAYED BY RITA HAYWORTH also captures this tension between Eros and the death-instinct in regards to sexual relationships:
ReplyDeleteWith the light off. But I'm so white you can see all of me, and once when he pulled the sheets off I covered myself with my hands and the he caught my hands and I couldn't do a thing, having to get undressed in the same room with a man, and nothing could calm him down, I'd never seen a person lose his control like that. When we were fiances I would kiss Jauregui but that was all I'd do. Have you seen cats when you throw water on them, they look like they're going crazy and their hair's standing on end? Jauregui wasn't the same person, his hair was all messy. (Puig 43)